Assault was started roughly six months ago when Craig Kaplowitz and Tim Toomey decided they had been working for The Man just too damn long and it was time to be their own bosses. The only way they knew how to do it was to take randomly funny semi-offensive slogans and to slap them onto the cheapest shirts that vietnamese labor can buy.

Just kidding. Actually, all of our shirts are made in the good old US of A by a great company called American Apparel. I'm sure you've heard of them. We currently do custom t-shirt designs for several radio shows and radio stations that you can find out alot more about by visiting the Official AssaultBLOG. The Official AssaultBLOG also has some great tutorials for those of you looking to start out with your own t-shirt designs or web designs.

Tim Toomey and Craig Kaplowitz

Currently, I (Tim) live in Chicago (getting nose picked) and I am responsible for the artsy fartsy side of the company, while Craig (nose picker) is responsible for getting the business side of things functioning and organized. You may also notice that I have strategically cropped everyone else out of our photos. If you'd like to see the rest of our ridiculous photos you'll have to add us as your friend on MySpace. Trust me, it took me about 4 hours to find some pictures where we looked somewhat normal. That being said Craig is currently residing in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. Sorry ladies, but Craig is currently married to Saw-Shan. If you'd like to see the pictures from the wedding, including "Third World Timmy" (getting nose picked) performing the ceremony check out the picture gallery at the blog.

I went to school at the Savannah College of Art and Design where I received a BFA in Film And Television, Craig went to Northwood in Texas and studied business. Not exactly sure as to the specifics of what he did, but I bet he did a real good job. Just look at how cute he is. The blog has a fairly detailed history of how this entire business came to life all the way from us getting our assumed name certicate and bank account out here in Cook County Chicago, IL. It's a much better dear-diary approach for how this site came to be and what is currently going on with us in our daily lives.

Candice Ciesla

Hey guys, designer "chick" Candice Ciesla here. I was invited into the Assault family by my dearest friend Timmy to help them with the creative aspects of t-shirt design. I basically pulled the chainsaw bunny design out of my butt at the last minute for our print deadline, not expecting at all that it would be our biggest seller. I love drawing cartoons, particularly humorous or deranged cute-sie animals. I currently work at an independent animation studio in Atlanta as lead concept artist. I basically draw cartoons all day long; it's like the dream job of every five year old kindergartener, and I love it. I went to school with Timmy at the Savannah College of Art and design where I received my BFA in Film and Digital Media. Check out more of my stuff and my animation of snails trying to fly kites at candiceciesla.com. If you have ideas that you'd like to see designed and printed on shirts, email us and we'll see what we can do.

Dennis Burnett and Dane Sponberg

The product photography on this website was done by Dennis Burnett and Dane Sponberg. (I'm sure they'll be happy to know I opted not to put in the picture of the three of us in Togas, and instead opted for this more suitable photo) They do some amazing work and have a broad range of experience from product photography,to advertisements, high fashion, concert photos, sporting events. Check out their websites and email us, or them if you need some photography work done. You can see some more of their photography work on our Juniors T-Shirts page.

SFW Pictures of the Assault Family